True Story #18: A leopard skin mankini and 130€ on coffee

"Despite my low income living internationally, having my daily starbucks is not only a way to appreciate the 'finer things in life', it is one of the few things that I have to remind me of home."

And unfortunately, the 'finer things in life' come with a price. Joey, despite his low income, was spending nearly 130€ a month on coffee. But how does an expat balance such an expensive habit with the reality of a limited budget? Joey excitedly unloaded hiswallet in front of me.

"Fidelity cards! I collect fidelity cards. You want to save money? They are the way to go! For only 18€ a month I can watch an unlimited amount of movies at any UGC theater location. For only 40€ a year I have free access to almost 200 museums in Paris. I must own at least 30 fidelity cards ."

One day, armed with his at least 30 fidelity cards, Joey decided to give his local swimming pool a try.

"They were offering a special, 10 visits to the pool for the price of 6. Score! I paid the money, changed into my swimming trunks, and was on my way to the pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle at me."

"You cannot swim with shorts on."

Looking around, Joey saw every other male in the building wearing spandex bikini briefs and a swimmer's cap.

"You can rent bathing suits at the entrance."

"Rent a bikini?"

Although the idea of paying to wear a used man's mankini was disgusting, Joey wasn't going to lose a session of swimming. Joey was committed, so Joey returned to the entrance."

"What size are you?"

The lady asked Joey as he approached the desk.

"I don't know, I suppose a medium will do."

Shuffling through a box underneath the counter, she removed a pair of brown and black leopard skin print bikini bottoms and handed them to Joey.

"Ma'am, these are extra-large."

"We are out of mediums. Take it or leave it. "

The water was warm, and the mankini was so spacious that Joey felt naked and uncomfortable. Upon completion of his third lap, as Joey pushed off of the wall, his sleek brown and black leopard skin bikini briefs, exhausted from having been tied so tightly around his waist, could hold no more.

"Having a swimmer's cap suctioned to my cap and feeling naked anyway, I couldn't feel the difference! How was I to know they had fallen off?"

It didn't actually dawn on him until he had finished the entire lap and returned to find them floating on top of the water patiently waiting for him.

"Hey! Somebody lost a pair of..."

True Story.